Birthing Sage.....

Not all posts will be this long folks!

There are certain people that I hope get to read this as this is something that I’ve not shared with everyone yet, for ‘fear’ of them just not understanding how much of an emotional journey this was for us. I couldn’t have handled any negativity or statements like ‘well, hospitals are better anyway and the way babies are supposed to be born’, or something along those lines. We needed strength and support to get through it….

Sage’s birth couldn’t have been more of a surprise to me than it was! I was ‘sure’ I would give birth prior to my due date and I was POSITIVE I was having a girl! May 31st came and went and, although I felt I’d reached some kind of special milestone, no baby. I even called Jared at work and told him I felt like we were supposed to celebrate or something. That morning I had sung ‘Happy due date day to meeee’ and felt kinda elated. After that day it became the game of ‘what can we do to urge baby to come forth’. I have a fun picture of me tilling the garden to share. This was one of our attempts to get me into labor. Instead, I got hot, sweaty, thirsty and reeeeeaally tired!

The next two weeks were filled with anticipation, anxiety, stressful decisions to face and make – and finally my birthday arrived – and so did Sage! Now to backtrack a bit….

All along (and for years that I can remember), we were going to do a water birth at home. I encountered the beautiful spirit of Astrid Grove, a local midwife and we were on our way to our dream becoming a reality. Then, at 30 weeks, Astrid delivered not our baby at home but the news that she was not comfortable home birthing our baby due to a fibroid of significant enough size and ‘not quite convenient’ location. I sobbed. Jared and I left her office and cried together. The fact that she could stay on as my doula only brought slight comfort initially. This just wasn’t what I had ‘planned’ – just like a lot of my pregnancy hadn’t been thus far. I didn’t want OUR baby born in a hospital!! Words can’t express just how sad, sad……sad we were.

Now, because I’m a believer in things being what we make of them and all part of our perfect path, I dug deep within myself and talked to Jared about our ‘new plan’! The big plus going for us was that we just happened to live very close to the most natural birthing center in all of VT – Gifford Birthing Center in Randolph, VT. They did not even offer epidurals or vaccinations there. With the fact that we were so far along in our pregnancy, it was time to just know we had to trust, have faith and switch gears. This baby had other plans for its’ birth and we had to get it together and honor that! We toured the center and felt as comfortable as we could for birthing in a hospital setting. My next step was meeting with all four of the midwives. The first one I met with was Tanya. I remember thinking that even though I hadn’t met the other three yet, I hoped she was the one on duty when our babe decided to come forth. Her soothing, mellow countenance was what I wanted at our baby’s birth! Jump ahead to June 11th…..

Jared and I, after much heart wrenching discussing and going back and forth, decided to go ahead and induce using Cervidil. It is considered the least invasive as it is simply a small string, that is inserted into the cervix opening, and it releases small amounts of prostaglandins that ripen the cervix. If you’re on the edge of ‘ready’ it will give that jumpstart needed. It can also be removed once it has triggered contractions. Those of you that know me will know how hard of a decision that was too, to resort to inducing. One ultrasound showed my fluid down, the next was fine but I was tired, anxious, ready…..

Within just minutes after the insertion the contractions started. And, yes, Tanya was the midwife on duty! Astrid was out of town for a week so was not able to be there. I cried with her on the phone when we spoke, the day before she left, and I still hadn’t gone into labor. My dear friend, Moria, had taken three weeks from her busy dance tour schedule, to be with us for the birth. Her visit came and went and no baby! Another sad moment.

So, born 2 weeks over his 'due date'. Born June 12th, 2008, on his Mommy's 38th bday. What a day that was. We blissed out in our private little room, in the birthing center, and ate three big vegan meals. Yes, only in VT does a hospital not only cater to your vegan needs but also doesn't go 'huh' when you tell them you're vegan! It was a 'oh no problem, we cater to a vegan group once a month for meetings here' type situation - and we breathed a BIG sigh of relief! Back to Sage......

Came along at 4:40am, 7lbs 3oz and something something measurements (yep, forget but have it all written down of course). I still remember it all so so vividly. The labor was the most intense and most beautiful thing I've ever experienced in my life - intense and beautiful all at the same time. A natural birth and I wouldn't change that for the world. To be 100% a part of the whole process of his body coming down the birthing canal, those hours before he graced us with his physical presence finally. To feel him moving, his heart pulsating inside me, the contractions leading me further and further deeper into his coming forth. My whole essence was about joining him as we birthed him TOGETHER. Yes, my small son and I joined hands in the whole experience - no woman births on her own, her infant child is her partner in birth! I labored in the hospital gardens, birthing tub, toilet, birthing ball, birthing chair, floor on all fours. Then, where Sage finally ‘popped’ out – squatting on the edge of a small stool up against the wall in our room. I had wanted so badly to birth in the water. However, the warm water relaxed me too much and my contractions actually became further apart and shorter. Then, at the very end, I just wasn’t up for moving one more time and just wanted that baby out!

My wonderful handsome husband was the best birthing support and I just was such a blessed woman to have him near!! 16 ½ hours later, at 4:40, my final two contractions birthed a baby straight into my husband’s hands! Jared exclaimed within seconds “it’s a boy”! We both laughed and sobbed. Words can’t describe how it feels to hold your baby for the first time, as a lot of you know – and to have it be a bigger surprise by being the opposite sex than you thought it would be. My first words were ‘of course it’s a boy’ as I continued to laugh and sob.

He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever laid eyes upon! Soon we lay skin-to-skin, Sage suckling and adjusting to life on the outside. Sweet sweet bliss! At Gifford they ‘require’ at least two hours of skin-to-skin contact when the baby is first born. Of course, I would’ve done it anyway and it was many hours after that before they even asked if I was ready to have him washed, weighed, etc. I’m so thankful for my experience there. A truly wonderful group of women!

Would I change anything? No. Life brings what it brings and I trust the process…..